Barrington Love...

I was up in Barrington, the art building, until almost 1am last night. I had to redo this project, and it had to be done by 9am today. I was tired and frustrated and less then thrilled about the situation.

So at 10pm, after seeing Enchanted April, which, by the way, was fantastic, and while all my friends were heading over to the dance party in Jenks Library, I shuffled up the stairs with a sigh. I wanted to go to bed. I was exhausted, I had been all week.

But then... there is something peaceful about Barrington at night.
I got into the studio. I shuffled around a bit, not really sure what I was doing. And then I grabbed paint. I grabbed brushes. I grabbed tracing paper, transfer paper, and an x-acto knife. And I started to work.
I'd forgotten how much I love being in that building at night, with no one else around, just me, my art, my music, and God. One of the few places you can really think and be alone on campus. So I thought and I worked and the ideas came and the process flowed. My iPod was on shuffle and provided the soundtrack, ranging from David Crowder, to Elvis, to the Ramones, to Deathcab, to Regina Spektor. Just my art and me and no distractions.
And it felt so good, so fulfilling and I'd forgotten that. I'd forgotten how much I loved to just create, because in the hustle and bustle of recent weeks, I feel like there has been much more destruction, things cracking, breaking, then there has been creation, building up. And I remembered once again how good I felt, how satisfied. How I was meant to make art.

At 12:49, I was finished. My new piece, while no masterpiece, was a vast improvement over the first. And I felt good. And as I walked back from Barrington to Ferrin in the warm spring air, I couldn't help smiling. It seemed silly, walking along at 1 am, iPod still playing, in the dark, grinning to myself. But I couldn't help it. I just felt good.
And I got back to my dorm, and I crawled in to my bed and went to sleep. And then I slept until 10, which was a miracle itself.

So, while this week was hard, I made it. And it ended well, and all those little cracks that were appearing so quickly earlier are slowly being filled in.

Life is beautiful. God has blessed me.

Homes Collide

This is Tory. This is me (Ryn? Kate? I'm not sure again.)
These are our best faces.

I love her. She makes me not be as afraid of summer. And she somehow managed to make it three hours south with no license and eight million obstacles just to see me.

First, the Amtrak tracks flooded.
Second, they missed the bus.
Third, the bus she could get on was going to the station I had no idea to get to.
Fourth, it all worked out.


Tory is 17, a junior in high school but no one here seemed to notice a difference between her and the college students. Whether that is a compliment to her or an insult to my friends here, I'm not sure. But can I tell you how relieved I was she came? I generally hate going home. I won't go into details why. But having home come to me? That I'll take any day.

(Except now, Gordon is more my home than Boothbay. But I guess I'm willing to admit pieces of my heart may still be in that coastal Maine town.)

She came and we talked and she met my crazy friends. We went out for dinner at 10 at night and then to watch the waves and then to just drive with no destination. And we were happy.

I really like being happy.

Pictures Speak 1,000 Words

So here's several from Easter Break...

Excited Ramblings

I am almost there. I am almost to a break in the nonstop life that is college.

I have observing to do tomorrow, time to spend watching an art teacher interact with her students, something I no longer plan on doing. And while I believe that the teacher I am observing is one of the best high school art teachers I have ever heard about or met, the time has become meaningless. I am not going to do what she does. I do not have a passion for teaching. And teaching without passion is poison to the future. I mean that, even if it does sound dramatic. I do not know what I am doing with my life yet, but I am alright with that. And at least I have figured out something that I am not doing.

After I observe tomorrow, I only have to get through my Illustration class before I am free. Illustration is two hours long on Thursdays, which is shorter than Tuesdays and I really am enjoying the project we're working on currently, so this should be no burden.

Whether or not it is a burden, it is still an obstacle. And I can not wait to overcome it, in hopes that this weekend will be phenomenal. I really don't see how it could not be, I'm spending it with three of my favorite people in the entire world. I am spending Easter at Rachel's house with Zach and Austin.

Rachel, Zach, and Austin. I would trust these kids with my life. I trust them with my secrets. And any time we get together is time I value. They value me, which is something I'm still not used to. I still do not understand that some people actually want to spend time with me over others. Life here is so different than high school.

This weekend is most definately going to be interesting. We are going down to Rachel's in New Jersey, for Easter, and her birthday. We will meet lots of family and friends. We will stay up too late and when we get back, we will probably wish we had a vacation to recover from our vacation. We will probably do stupid trivial things as well as get involved in some pretty serious conversations. I wish I could tell you how happy I am that I'm going. I feel like a semi-bad daughter for not wishing I could go home, but Boothbay doesn't love me like these people do. Its different and its new and its refreshing.

Life is good and I am blessed. Many things go wrong... many things. But more things go right. And, as Zach reminded me today, God is in control and He knows what He's doing.