Three Fourths

We are three quarters of the way through this school year.
Just stop and think about that for a second.

Freshman year of college has got to be one of the most eventful experiences in anyone's life. Eventful isn't the word I'm looking for... I mean in terms of changes, changes of outlooks, changes of location, changes in friends...

Changes in friends. That's an interesting one. After orientation week, many people clung to what they knew, clutching one or two orientation friends, and the LaVida kids clinging to one another. Slowly as time went on and we were finally able to meet the people on our floors, in our classes and our roommates (did any one else have very little time to talk to their roommates during orientation week?), we realized that the people we gravitated so quickly to may not be right for us and we may not be right for them. So we shifted. And we are still shifting, but settling too. We are finding our places here, finding the people who need us as much as we need them.

That is an important aspect isn't it? "People who need us as much as we need them"? None of us wants an uneven friendship. Its generally painful when you find out the person you considered your closest friend holds someone in higher regard than yourself. That seems to sum up my high school experience to be honest. Among other words and phrases that I throw around without fully meaning them (such as the ever popular "I'm going to kill you" or the more colorful "I'm going to gouge out your left eye"), was the phrase "Best friend." I can't tell you how many people I've labeled my "best friend," but I can tell you that it's been way too many. I go with the feeling at the time. If I've just told them one of my secrets, I label them best friend as quickly as possible, because a best friend would never betray, right? If we've been spending a significant amount of time together, I label them my best friend. And I never revoke the title. I still consider nearly all the people I've labeled best friends to be my best friends, even if I haven't seen them in years. Rather absurd, I know.

I suppose maybe I need to be more thoughtful and purposeful with my words and only say what I mean. But as I've learned over and over again, I am terrible at changing.